Fuck it all

I’ve reached my enough, actually I’m past it. I’m out of fucks. This darkness that moves through me is taking over. It’s pulling me in further to live in the darker side of wild, unapologetically and I will love the destroyer inside of me shamelessly, with no guilt just how the rest of the world doesn’t want me to.
I don’t care. I never wanted this for myself yet we are born it.
Oh look it’s a girl, dress her up to be pretty. Teach her to shut the fuck up with matters that are important to her. Take away her voice, and abuse her when she stands for herself. Blame her that she’s lying when she speaks the truth. Destroy her muchness and squash it so far fucking down she can barely breathe. Let her beg and work for love, and make her believe she only deserves it if she’s good, they way we want her to be.

That’s from birth, and we’re reminded everyday as adult women. Everyday, everyday every fucking day, don’t you dare be too much. Don’t be you. Don’t you be fierce and love yourself sick because you’re going to be reminded not to. We own you, we broke you and fuck you.

No cunts, we can’t be broken. We burn. We let rage and grief transform us in the dark.

I was born from darkness so I know how to grow in it. I learned to see, know and speak from darkness. I know an otherness many do not, and I know how twisted it can be. I’ve confronted evil many times and know how to dance with it.
Demonic hate from other worlds and stood in front of it. Know how it thinks, reacts and feels…and even though it’s putrid, disgusting and hateful that’s inside me too and I don’t make apologies for it. Actually, I love it. I find it erotic much of the time. What do you think wildness is? What do you think is pure? Goodness? That’s religion speak. Go deeper to know.
I understand it. I like to feel it flow through me, let it speak.
Most call it unnatural but it is not. It’s nature too. Don’t lie to yourself to deny what you fear. Confronted? I don’t give a shit. I’m taming you to listen and that curiosity that’s stirring is that darkness inside of you that recognises what I say. It wants out.

What would it feel like woman to love yourself there?


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